In ten years there will be a record of this...

At swim practice Friday morning, we were doing 25 sprints. Coach Marty would say, "Take your marks...go!" at the appropriate intervals for everybody. But most of the people kept false starting (not me, I am very happy to report). So after a while, Coach Marty sighed and said in a rolling-eye-ish tone of voice, "Alright guys, let's practice going on the 'go' and not on the 'take your marks.'"

Tim K. (from improv) and I were on the topic of Led Zeppelin, and he started talking about a video of the reunion tour he had watched on YouTube. "Have you seen Robert Plant's hair? It's still long, but it's all white. He looks like a witch...a witch with a perm."

Mrs. Avery on the subject of the looming mid-term: "Don't think of it as a dreary mid-term test. Think of it as a mid-term PARTY!!"

Also, I shook my head when Mrs. Avery said this, because I knew as soon as she did that I would quote her on here: "In ten years nobody is going to know we extended the date for the Beowulf paper three times..."

*smirks*

A Nice Stock of Beowulf Quotes

I've been very un-diligent in writing down my quotes so most of these are paraphrases that my mind has messed up, and for that I am terribly sorry to...okay, I'm going to not call my English teacher "The Professor Avery" because, according to her, she's not yet a professor. So she's Mrs. Avery from now on, 'kay? Good, you got it. Here's some of what I've learned in class these past few weeks:

"I always think it's fitting to watch a movie on the day before a break from school. So we're going to turn off the lights now and watch this movie about Grendel...now, no hanky, and no panky."

"Thanes are the 'free retainers' or basically the soldiers in the Anglo-Saxon time. Now, they aren't to be confused with Danes, which in the case of Beowulf is what they were. So...that would make them Dane-Thanes!"

"Now, your papers should be only five pages long, no more. Now, if you have Diarrhea of the Computer and keep writing more and more, you need to come see me."

"Okay, now, your papers are due on three dates. September 25th is what we'll call the Overachiever's date, and you'll get three extra points. October 2nd will be the Procrastinator's date, and you get no extra points, and no points taken off. Finally, October 7th you will get 15 points taken off and so that is the Fear of Success People's date." (class giggles) "Oh, now, let's not make fun of the Fear of Success People. They can't help it."

An analogy using the class as a whole: "We are all kin...we're all thanes of each other........I'm Beowulf."

Mrs. Avery: "Beowulf was a great guy, and always did the right thing. When someone drops a $20 bill on their way to the parking lot and you see it, you have to think like a hero. Think like Beowulf."
Some Guy in the Class: "What Would Beowulf Do?"
Mrs. Avery: "Exactly......WWBD!"

So there you have it.

Of Tap Dancing & Semicolons

I am here! And well. Here is my first contribution to the quotes blog...another story from the infamous Professor Avery...

"Don't fall asleep in my class! I have a bad habit of embarrassing those people by asking them all the hard questions.

"One summer I was teaching English to a group of automotive students. It was hot & humid, and on this particular day, the air conditioning had broken. The windows were open to let cool air in, but students were still falling asleep. I was talking about something like semicolons, and decided on a way to get their attention.

"I keep on talking about semicolons...but talked more and more quietly ... softer ... softer ... and after they had all nodded off, I climbed quietly onto the desk. And started tap dancing, singing 'I'm singin' in the rain, I'm singin' in the rain!'

"They scribbled notes furiously and never went to sleep in my class again!"

A New Semester...

So I have this very fun and interesting British Literature teacher. As you all may know from my Super Honeycutt story, I have a habit of writing down everything my teachers say...as long as it will never appear on a test...heh, heh. So...I shall dub her The Professor Avery and quote her thus...

Demonstrating Old English language:
"Ick wenten to the store yesterday and the kuh-nightes loveth..."

Creating new words to circulate around the world and become part of everyday English speech:
"You can take any word...just make it up! Like....like...'dirkabiddle'! You can say, 'my dirkabiddle isn't working today' to anyone around campus...pretty soon they'll start picking it up and using it in their own sentences like they know what it means...'my dirkabiddle's in the shop today' or, 'where in the world is my dirkabiddle?'"

Right before a lecture:
"This part you're going to have to take notes on...that means utensils in your hands, moving on the paper. You'll remember; I'll forget for you."

Such is The Professor Avery...it is doubtless you will see more quotes from her...