Sick day amusements

David: Lizzie, can I open this juice?
Me: No, David, it has sugar in it, and you and I can't have sugar while we're still sick.
David: But it's the only juice we have! What else am I supposed to quench my thirst with?
Me: Um, water?
David: How about if there's just a little bit of sugar?
Me: No.
David: What if it's only 2 grams?
Me: No.
David: What about 1 gram?
Me: Okay, if it has only 1 gram, then you can have some.
David: *checks the back of the bottle* 25 grams. Man, missed it by THAT much. *holds up an inch*
Me: No, missed it by THAT MUCH. *hands a foot apart*
David: *gets some water*

Joel: What, you didn't open this juice?
Me: No, David and I can't have any because there's sugar in it.
Joel: But I can?
Me: As long as you're not sick.
Joel: Do you want me to tell you how good it tastes?
Me: Yes!
Joel: Really? Cause wouldn't that make you want to drink it?
Me: I already want to drink it, so I wouldn't mind knowing how it tastes.
Joel: Oh, okay.
Me: So how does it taste?
Joel: Not very good. You're lucky.

Sarah: Are you making muffins? Cause if you're making muffins, I'm going to die!
Me: "Die" in a good way, or "die" in a bad way?
Sarah: Like in a "I'M GOING TO DIE IT'S SO FLUFFY!*" kinda way.
Me: ... in that case, yes, I'm making muffins.

*Quote from "Despicable Me"