Saturday, December 11, 2010

Old Crooners

When watching movies that have soundtracks of old singers like Sinatra, Louis Armstrong, Jimmy Durante, etc. I'll quiz my kids: "Quick! Who's that singing?" They usually give me the ThereGoesDadAgain eyeroll and say "I don't know." If it's a good movie, they throw in "and I don't care" to get me to shut up.

I got a shock tonight. A movie with Sinatra singing was on and I popped my usual question. Before I could finish, Sarah calmly says, "Sinatra." My jaw dropped opened and I said, "how'dja know?" "Because he's the one that sounds like Michael Buble."

Monday, August 2, 2010

Sick day amusements

David: Lizzie, can I open this juice?
Me: No, David, it has sugar in it, and you and I can't have sugar while we're still sick.
David: But it's the only juice we have! What else am I supposed to quench my thirst with?
Me: Um, water?
David: How about if there's just a little bit of sugar?
Me: No.
David: What if it's only 2 grams?
Me: No.
David: What about 1 gram?
Me: Okay, if it has only 1 gram, then you can have some.
David: *checks the back of the bottle* 25 grams. Man, missed it by THAT much. *holds up an inch*
Me: No, missed it by THAT MUCH. *hands a foot apart*
David: *gets some water*

Joel: What, you didn't open this juice?
Me: No, David and I can't have any because there's sugar in it.
Joel: But I can?
Me: As long as you're not sick.
Joel: Do you want me to tell you how good it tastes?
Me: Yes!
Joel: Really? Cause wouldn't that make you want to drink it?
Me: I already want to drink it, so I wouldn't mind knowing how it tastes.
Joel: Oh, okay.
Me: So how does it taste?
Joel: Not very good. You're lucky.

Sarah: Are you making muffins? Cause if you're making muffins, I'm going to die!
Me: "Die" in a good way, or "die" in a bad way?
Sarah: Like in a "I'M GOING TO DIE IT'S SO FLUFFY!*" kinda way.
Me: ... in that case, yes, I'm making muffins.

*Quote from "Despicable Me"

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Gullible At Scrabble

At Thanksgiving we had our 2nd annual Scrabble tournament. After one of the games we came back to the table to discover that Sarah had set up the board as it is on the right. One in our party sat down to complete the task.

Lizzie: Don't do it.
Solver: I don't understand.
Lizzie: You know it can't be done!
Solver: [ignores plea]
Lizzie: She's tricking you!
Sarah and I: [watch solver work]
Lizzie: I can't believe you're falling for this!
Solver: [ignores plea]
Lizzie: [in a matter of fact voice]You know, "gullible" is written on the ceiling.
Solver, Sarah, & I: [surprised at her statement, we simultaneously look up]

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Don't Listen To Me

Both David and Joel are at their computers. David asks Joel how to do something (I'm not sure what it was. Probably some inane game thing). David complains about Joel's instructions.

Joel: David! Don't ever listen to what I say again!
David: OK
David: WHAT?
David: [long silence]
Joel: GOOD!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Quick! Be Clumsy

The weather is here. Our annual "Bring In The Plants" activity was done last week. Sheila, Joel, David, and I got them into the house one evening. When David set down a top heavy plant on its 3 foot high stand, it fell off. I was instantly taken back to a scene in the movie "Ronin" where Robert DeNiro covertly pushes a cup of coffee off a table to test the reaction time of a comrade played by Stellan SkarsgÄrd. He catches the cup right above the floor without spilling a drop. Just like Stellan, David caught the plant inches from the floor. His reflexive actions were impressive.

Joel: I wish I was clumsy so I could show you how good my reflexes are.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


On a beautiful day at Meredith, sitting in a gazebo near the pond, little droplets begin to sprinkle in the pond, and Allison remarks: "How is it raining? There's, like, no sky out!"

Me (being philosopher-ish): "In order to be happy, you have to think happy; not think about how you wish you were happy."
Marck: "Happy...happy...happy...happy...HAPPY....HAPPY!!! YES!!"

At the Sound of Music, before the show in the lobby there were goat marionettes like the ones in the show for sale.
Kara (freaking out ecstatically): "Oh, look! They have little odel-ay things!!"

In the girl's locker room after water polo, somehow the conversation had a strange shift towards the supernatural.
Rachel F.: "It would be so cool to be a ghost! Then you could be right beside someone and they wouldn't know."
Rachel J: "Yeah, you could haunt people and stuff! Follow them everywhere!"
Kara: "Oh, no...if I were a ghost, I wouldn't want to haunt anybody...that would be mean!!"

Joel: "It took me, like, a year to read Lord of the Rings."
Me: "Whoa, you're a slow reader too?"
Joel: "No...I read the first two books and halfway through the third in one week....then I lost the third book for a year, and finished reading it once I found it."
Me: "Oh."

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Of guys and their tools

In English class this morning, a woman brought in a tool set for women that she had found. The next fifteen minutes we spent talking about guys and their tools.

"You know, I wouldn't have a problem with him having all these tools, and not letting me touch them, except for one thing. He leaves them lying around; there is NO organization!! I even found a hammer on my bed the other day!"

"Tools are like legos for men!!!! They can't have one, they gotta have 600!!!!! And five different screw drivers that do the exact same thing!"