Don't Listen To Me

Both David and Joel are at their computers. David asks Joel how to do something (I'm not sure what it was. Probably some inane game thing). David complains about Joel's instructions.

Joel: David! Don't ever listen to what I say again!
David: OK
Joel: YOU DID IT AGAIN!
David: WHAT?
Joel: AREN'T YOU LISTENING? YOU LISTENED TO WHAT I SAID! DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE!? CAN I BE ANY CLEARER? DO YOU GET IT NOW!?
David: [long silence]
Joel: GOOD!!

Pseudo Bushism

Joel: David blah blah blah'd me!
David: Joel's misoverexaggerating again.

Sorta reminds me of the bushism: misunderestimate. I'm almost certain I heard Daffy Duck say "strategery" in an old episode of Duck Dodgers today!

So what does misoverexaggerate mean? How about "to exaggerate to the point of being absurd." But wait...isn't that what over exaggerate means? Maybe it means "to exaggerate to the point of being absurdly absurd." Or maybe I'm misoverthinking it.

a assortment of quotes that have piled up.

As we walked by our brothers, staring at their computer screens...
Lizzie: Every time I walk by my brothers, I am awed by their intelligence.

At band...
Mr. Page: With this piece, y'all have to be able to watch at two pages at the same time. You have to watch at that page, and this Page. *points at himself*

Also at band. (unfortunately, this would be funnier if I spoke french, but with the help of a translation site, I took a wild guess at what was said in french...)
Mr. Page: OK trumpets, y'all aren't getting this part... *bum-bums it* ...Ok? Just the trumpets...
Mark: I don't have that part, I have nothing then something totally different.
Mr. Page: Oh, well then just double with Danny for it. *They play it.*
Mr. Page: that was better... ...again.
Mark: but, that part here goes right into my part.
Mr Page: yeah, just go straight out of that into yours, Ok?
Mark: ....
Mr. Page: Comprenez?
Mark: Oh. I get it.
Mr. Page: L'obtenir?.... Bien?...... Obtenu il?
Mark: I GET IT.


We were talking about how David's behavior has been improving lately...
Joel: What? He attacked me this morning!!
Daddy: Because you broke his lego scene.
Joel: No, because I broke his lego airplane. I accidentally hit it with a beanie baby.
Me: How'd you do that?
Joel: I was throwing it at David.
Lizzie: Why?
Joel: He was throwing them at me!
Lizzie: And why was he doing that?
Joel: I don't know...
David: He karate chopped me!!
Daddy: Why'd you do that?
Joel: I was trying to read, and he was dancing like a ghost!
David: SO??
Daddy: what's wrong with that?
Joel: On my BED.

While we were talking about how I needed a new lens for my camera(my zoom lens is broken!) :(
Joel: if you had a zoom lens and a microscope lens they'd cancel each other out and you wouldn't have a lens at all.

--Sarah

Sarah and David

As the boys were leaving for basketball, Daddy asked them: Do you have your waterbottles?
David: Yes!
Daddy: Do you have your basketballs?
David: Yes!
Daddy: Do you have your heads?
David *high-pitched wailing*: NoooOOO!

Sarah: You're one of the best kinds of cooks.
Me *surprised*: Thank you!
Sarah: The kind that cleans up afterwards. Artistic cooks leave a mess 3 times as big as the clean cook and don't clean up.
Me: Like you?
Sarah: Yeah.
Me: *realizes it was NOT a compliment*

Alternate personalities and sharing hands.

Lately I've been amusing myself by talking to Sarah and Joel's alternate personalities.

Jenny (Sarah's alternate personality with a high-pitched voice): I want some ice cream!
Me: Oh, Jenny's back! You've been gone a while.
Jenny: Yes, I went to New Zee-*gasp*-a-land! I got to *gasp* see the canyon-thing they were riding through when they were being chased by the White Witch's army!
Me: Are you blonde?
Jenny: Yes..... why do you ask?

Lenny (One of Joel's alternate personalities. He has two, the other is called Bubba and Bubba is more popular): No one likes me.
Me: Well, Lenny, Bubba usually shows up whenever Joel's at swimming and stuff. None of Joel's friends know about you. They might like you if you'd just let them meet you.
Lenny: I don't want to.
Me: Then stop complaining that no one likes you. Joel's family are the only people that know you, and we all like you.

And I just forgot what Lenny said about Joel, so I asked Jenny, who is sitting next to me at the moment.

Me: Do you remember what Lenny said about Joel?
Jenny: No, I don't.
Me: Go back to being Sarah for a second, Sarah's not blonde.
Jenny: I don't want to go back to being Sarah, she's too stressed out; she annoys me.

(disclaimer: they don't REALLY have alternate personalities, they just do it for fun)

Earlier today on the way to basketball practice David was holding out one of his hands and telling Joel, "Okay, this is you." And then Joel smacked the hand and David laughed. "You're hitting yourself! That's you!"
Joel hit his hand 3 more times.
David: That's you! Ow, ow!!

It was funny, but I had to make them stop. After all, Joel was hitting David.... even though they both thought it was funny.

~Lizzie

Wednesday Quotes

Daddy: *finishes swimming butterfly* Joel, how did I look?
Joel: No child should have to see their parent swim butterfly.

On the way to Radical Wednesday prayer meeting...

Sarah: I have an imaginary friend and Joel has two alternate personalities. Which one is more weird??
Kara: I'm not going to answer that.... In my world and my country, they call me normal.
Sarah: What is normal? What are cows?
Kara: Humphrey is a cow.

Sarah: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is a great movie!
Kara: I think my brother read the book, who was it written by?
Sarah: I confess..... I wrote it.
Kara: So THAT's why you're so stressed! All the hate mail.
Sarah: *shocked* You know about the hate mail???
Kara: *smug* I know all.
Sarah: Ah! You wrote it, didn't you?!?
Kara: *no comment*

*silence*
Kara: A duck died. (Referring to the saying that for every awkward silence, somewhere a duck dies)
Sarah: Abraham Lincoln! (Referring to the saying that for every awkward silence, someone in the conversation is thinking of Abraham Lincoln)
Kara: No! You didn't think of Abraham Lincoln! (Kara doesn't like the Abraham Lincoln saying.)
Sarah: I had to think it to say it!!!!!
Kara: *hmph*

On the way home from Radical Wednesday....

The boys are begging for a bedtime extension since their friend Will is staying over tonight.
Daddy: Well, you can't stay up too late or you won't get up on time in the morning.
Will: OO!! I know how to get them up! Whenever I'm here, they lean over the side of the bed and STARE.. at me til I wake up.
Joel:.... we're just waiting for you to wake up.
Will: Well, you could say, "Wake up, Will!" or throw pillows are me or something. You don't have to STARE.. at me.

During the prayer meeting, David fell out of his chair.
Will: So, David, I just have one question.... how did you manage to fall out of the chair? You just fell out, and I looked at you and you were bleeding all over the place, and I was like, Oh, gosh, he's split his mouth!
David: Yeah, I just had my feet up...
Will: And then you're like "doo, it's cobing frob by dose" and go running out of the room. And I was like, oh my gosh, he's bleeding severely, he needs medical attention! I was getting ready to get someone to call 911. I'm surprised you didn't go into a coma. Didn't it hurt?
David: Naw... well, the impact hurt a little, but the nosebleed didn't hurt.
Will: Well, OF COURSE the impact hurt!
Joel: *mutters* Nosebleeds are fun.
Will: OMGosh, did you just say that nosebleeds are fun?
Joel: Yeah...
Will: *sarcastically* Oh, oh, yes!! I'm bleeding all over my arm!! *pumps fist* Yes!! Ooo, it's running down my face! Yay!! *pumps fist again*

Little Brothers Again

David: I cut this grapefruit with the dull side of a knife.

Joel: Our refrigerator isn't working. The second time you open the door there's supposed to be something you want inside.

Random

David: Hey Lizzie! Guess what? I can write with my left ear!"
Me: Really?!?
David: Yeah, you wanna see??
Me: Definitely.
David: *tucks pencil behind ear* *pulls it out and writes "with my left ear" on a sheet of paper*
Me: Haha. Very funny....

At theatre yesterday, our director decided to interview us as Oklahomians (we're doing "Oklahoma!" this year) and one of the girls was talking about the tall guy that was taking her to the hoe-down and her friend says, "Well, watch out fer thet Gertie, she'll steal him right out from under ya!"
"Aw, naw, he's too tall to fit under me!"

We all just sat there for a second and then burst out laughing.

Little brothers.

My little brothers were playing with a bag of chips, and I told them to stop because they'd break all the chips. This was the response:
"Yeah, we're making more chips! 50 more chips per chip! Eventually they'll be a powder. Then, 'just add water' and you've got paste!" - Joel
"Chip paste!!!" - David

(P. S. Jess, feel free to edit my labels if you want. I can't remember what all we thought of....)