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Friday, September 26, 2008

Random things which are said...

Elizabeth B. early one morning: "Yes, I like that there's lots of........um...repetitivity....in it."
Me: "Repetition?"
Elizabeth: "Umm...yeah."

At the gift shop after seeing the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit, Scott and I are looking at jewelry made out of replicas of Qumran coins and contemplating their significance, and he says: "I don't think I would buy those...I mean, I wouldn't want to be wearing Roman emperors on my ears."

Alex on my driving: "You drive really good, Jessica...better than your mom. She drives kind of slow, but there's nothing like hearing the roar of a minivan engine..."

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wednesday Quotes

Daddy: *finishes swimming butterfly* Joel, how did I look?
Joel: No child should have to see their parent swim butterfly.

On the way to Radical Wednesday prayer meeting...

Sarah: I have an imaginary friend and Joel has two alternate personalities. Which one is more weird??
Kara: I'm not going to answer that.... In my world and my country, they call me normal.
Sarah: What is normal? What are cows?
Kara: Humphrey is a cow.

Sarah: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is a great movie!
Kara: I think my brother read the book, who was it written by?
Sarah: I confess..... I wrote it.
Kara: So THAT's why you're so stressed! All the hate mail.
Sarah: *shocked* You know about the hate mail???
Kara: *smug* I know all.
Sarah: Ah! You wrote it, didn't you?!?
Kara: *no comment*

*silence*
Kara: A duck died. (Referring to the saying that for every awkward silence, somewhere a duck dies)
Sarah: Abraham Lincoln! (Referring to the saying that for every awkward silence, someone in the conversation is thinking of Abraham Lincoln)
Kara: No! You didn't think of Abraham Lincoln! (Kara doesn't like the Abraham Lincoln saying.)
Sarah: I had to think it to say it!!!!!
Kara: *hmph*

On the way home from Radical Wednesday....

The boys are begging for a bedtime extension since their friend Will is staying over tonight.
Daddy: Well, you can't stay up too late or you won't get up on time in the morning.
Will: OO!! I know how to get them up! Whenever I'm here, they lean over the side of the bed and STARE.. at me til I wake up.
Joel:.... we're just waiting for you to wake up.
Will: Well, you could say, "Wake up, Will!" or throw pillows are me or something. You don't have to STARE.. at me.

During the prayer meeting, David fell out of his chair.
Will: So, David, I just have one question.... how did you manage to fall out of the chair? You just fell out, and I looked at you and you were bleeding all over the place, and I was like, Oh, gosh, he's split his mouth!
David: Yeah, I just had my feet up...
Will: And then you're like "doo, it's cobing frob by dose" and go running out of the room. And I was like, oh my gosh, he's bleeding severely, he needs medical attention! I was getting ready to get someone to call 911. I'm surprised you didn't go into a coma. Didn't it hurt?
David: Naw... well, the impact hurt a little, but the nosebleed didn't hurt.
Will: Well, OF COURSE the impact hurt!
Joel: *mutters* Nosebleeds are fun.
Will: OMGosh, did you just say that nosebleeds are fun?
Joel: Yeah...
Will: *sarcastically* Oh, oh, yes!! I'm bleeding all over my arm!! *pumps fist* Yes!! Ooo, it's running down my face! Yay!! *pumps fist again*

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

A Nice Stock of Beowulf Quotes

I've been very un-diligent in writing down my quotes so most of these are paraphrases that my mind has messed up, and for that I am terribly sorry to...okay, I'm going to not call my English teacher "The Professor Avery" because, according to her, she's not yet a professor. So she's Mrs. Avery from now on, 'kay? Good, you got it. Here's some of what I've learned in class these past few weeks:

"I always think it's fitting to watch a movie on the day before a break from school. So we're going to turn off the lights now and watch this movie about Grendel...now, no hanky, and no panky."

"Thanes are the 'free retainers' or basically the soldiers in the Anglo-Saxon time. Now, they aren't to be confused with Danes, which in the case of Beowulf is what they were. So...that would make them Dane-Thanes!"

"Now, your papers should be only five pages long, no more. Now, if you have Diarrhea of the Computer and keep writing more and more, you need to come see me."

"Okay, now, your papers are due on three dates. September 25th is what we'll call the Overachiever's date, and you'll get three extra points. October 2nd will be the Procrastinator's date, and you get no extra points, and no points taken off. Finally, October 7th you will get 15 points taken off and so that is the Fear of Success People's date." (class giggles) "Oh, now, let's not make fun of the Fear of Success People. They can't help it."

An analogy using the class as a whole: "We are all kin...we're all thanes of each other........I'm Beowulf."

Mrs. Avery: "Beowulf was a great guy, and always did the right thing. When someone drops a $20 bill on their way to the parking lot and you see it, you have to think like a hero. Think like Beowulf."
Some Guy in the Class: "What Would Beowulf Do?"
Mrs. Avery: "Exactly......WWBD!"

So there you have it.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Yup, I've finally posted...

This morning at breakfast Joel was having Peanut Butter flavored cereal. Daddy was having flavorless cereal, but put frozen blueberries in it. As he started to take the blueberries back to the freezer, Joel suddenly said, "Ohh, that's a good idea!! I can put blueberries in mine and have peanut butter and jelly cereal."

Later on at band...

Mr. Page: I want a honest show of hands, how many of you practiced this piece this past week?
[3 people raise their hands]
Mr. Page: ...Well thank you for your honesty. You guys need to practice. I know that y'all think you don't have enough time... But what are y'all doing at 4:30 in the morning?
Everyone: ..... Sleeping.

--Sarah

We get crazy late at night....

Mom was looking for a book, and just a few minutes ago, Sarah bounced down the stairs into the kitchen, where I was calmly getting a drink (of cranberry juice....) and burst out into a song from a play we did 2 years ago: "I FOUND it, I FOUND it, I WRApped my hands aROUND it, and PUlled it from the PLACE where it was hi-DING!" Then she opened the refrigerator door and immediately exclaimed, "Ooo! Chocolate!" She turned around, still in the refrigerator, gasped and started bobbing side to side. "What?" I asked, beginning to be alarmed. She didn't answer, so I walked over and stood in front of her, looking in the same direction. I saw the light outside and bobbed to watch the light be obscured by the window frame and then come back into view. I'm sure we made an interesting sight. Standing in the refrigerator and bouncing back and forth.

We're probably insane, but it's at least a comfort to know that Sarah has worse symptoms than I do.

~Lizzie

Friday, September 19, 2008

Little Brothers Again

David: I cut this grapefruit with the dull side of a knife.

Joel: Our refrigerator isn't working. The second time you open the door there's supposed to be something you want inside.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Random

David: Hey Lizzie! Guess what? I can write with my left ear!"
Me: Really?!?
David: Yeah, you wanna see??
Me: Definitely.
David: *tucks pencil behind ear* *pulls it out and writes "with my left ear" on a sheet of paper*
Me: Haha. Very funny....

At theatre yesterday, our director decided to interview us as Oklahomians (we're doing "Oklahoma!" this year) and one of the girls was talking about the tall guy that was taking her to the hoe-down and her friend says, "Well, watch out fer thet Gertie, she'll steal him right out from under ya!"
"Aw, naw, he's too tall to fit under me!"

We all just sat there for a second and then burst out laughing.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

We're getting a little weird at the beach...

Marck and me were in the ocean somewhere slightly downwind from our condo, catching waves in and tumbling about. The waves start getting bigger...Jessica stands up and attempts to walk against the current back towards where the family is sitting. Marck doesn't notice this, and catches a wave, running unceremoniously right into his sister:

"You got in the way of that awesome wave!! It was huge...as big as a small wooly mammoth!"


After a successful game of "Take Two" (sometimes known as "Bananagrams"), Daddy tries to act humble:

"Well...I got to spell 'oinker'. What more does anybody want in life than to spell 'oinker'?"

Friday, September 5, 2008

Improv...

Jeffrey, as the Priest, takes off his shoe and presses it against David's forehead..."This will HEEL you!!" This merits him a Groaner Foul, which he steps up to apologize for, saying, "I'm very sorry for using a groaner for that moment...but I had to bless his SOLE!" Which earned him another groaner foul, which the Loyal Fans did not forgive him for......


To a group of people taking a tour through the African Jungle: "They're not killer bees...they're just hurt-you bees." ~Ian B.

A salesman trying to sell a bathroom medical cabinet to a customer: "It comes with its own medicine...(whispers excitedly)...it's prescription!" ~Dean J.

Beastie Rap with the name "Marge":
Rapper (Robin): "Homer's wife, her name is..."
Backup (Well, just Luanna): "Bart!"

When the veteranarian comes as soon as the hamster passes out on the floor: "O-M-G, it's an ESP V-E-T!!!" ~Robin T.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

On Church

Sorry all the layout change! I accidentally changed this blog instead of my own. Couldn't figure out how to get it back!

Here is a quote to make amends. I like this quote from Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like about how he would introduce guests to his church if he pastored one.

"If this is your first time, thanks for coming. Church is kind of weird, isn't? I mean today we're going to sing songs to the person we feel breathed into existence the universe and the sea horse. We're going to learn about the person who we feel is most important but we've never actually seen. We're going to tell you how a book that is thousands of years old can help you have a better day tomorrow in your cubicle at work. And then we're going to cut you off in the parking lot after church cause we're still pretty messed up. It's going to be a little weird today but we hope you'll come back next week. Because even though it's weird, it's also wild and wonderful."

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Vacation Quotes

Playing Bananagrams.
Mom: What is that?!?
Joel: Holyrain. (pronounced HOLYrain)
Mom: Holyrain.
Joel: ... yeah.

Mom: Hey, you!
Dad: I'm not "hey you"! I'm his brother, Hu Yu.

Today's "thot" from Mikey's Funnies:

Confidence is the feeling you have before you really understand the problem.

Of Breakfasts and Qualifications

It is eight o’clock am in a certain household. Marck sits at the table hunched over his cereal, his hair sticking out in five million directions. Jessica, having had a little too much morning coffee, bounds in and stops in the archway, beaming like the bright morning sun. Her hair is not sticking out in a million directions, but it is in a messy bun to prevent such an occurrence.

Jessica: “Hey Marck…okay, what do you get when you have a pet sea lion that eats off your floor?”

Marck (unimpressed): “What?”

Jessica: “A vacuum seal!!!” (laughs heartily)

Marck (still unimpressed): “Oh yeah? Well, what do you call a lemur that eats off the floor?”

Jessica (thinks very hard): “Uuuuhhhhh…..I don’t know.”

Marck: “A vacuum lemur!”

Jessica blinks, staring blankly……..Marck bursts out laughing……Jessica rolls her eyes.


And to top off this post, here is what Maryn has to say on quotes:

“George Gordon is still alive….he can’t be quoted!” :D I suppose we’ve been going about this all wrong, in that case.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Different translation perhaps?

My little brother reading his evening Bible reading with my dad : "He entered the...snagagoo..."

Mom and I: "The WHAT??

Dad: "No, no... synagogue!"